Most people want to learn how to forgive others. The truth is, learning to forgive is a process that can take years to accomplish. Even then, it is something that you have to work on every time someone does or says something to you that could potentially lead to a bigger issue down the road. The first step in learning how to forgive is to realize that even if the other individual hurt you intentionally, the only person that you are really hurting by holding on to all that anger and resentment is yourself. Once you do this, the rest becomes much easier.
You Have to Work at Forgiveness
Is it always easy to forgive someone that has hurt you? Obviously, it isn’t always that easy. There are times when any human being is inclined to hang on to a great deal of anger, to feel resentful about a certain situation, or to be so hurt by something that was said or done that it eventually turns into bitterness. This can happen even when the other individual had no intention of hurting you and in some cases, they are completely unaware that they have done anything that offended you. It can be even more difficult to forgive when someone does something to you on purpose. However, every person that hangs onto these negative feelings eventually realizes that they seem to be growing out of control and affecting every other aspect of their lives. At this point, you make the realization that harboring these feelings is not good for you or anyone that you care about.
The First Step
This realization is usually the first step in learning how to forgive. When you stop giving that individual that hurt you so much power over yourself, you start to reclaim control of your own life and you begin making decisions for yourself once again as opposed to allowing someone that hurt you to be in charge of your decision making. It is a liberating feeling, to say the least. It is also one that can truly make you understand that there is no point in harboring all those negative feelings in the first place.
Forgiving Doesn’t Mean Forgetting
Without a doubt, learning to forgive does not in any way, shape or form mean that you have to excuse the actions of every individual. It is okay to be angry with a situation for a while and it is also okay to disagree with a person while simultaneously forgiving them for whatever they have done. In other words, you don’t ever have to be okay with what a particular individual has said or done to you, but you can still forgive that person for doing it. You see, it really isn’t about letting that person off the hook for whatever happened. Instead, it is about letting yourself off the hook and setting yourself free from all of those hurts and insecurities.
Making Forgiveness Work for You
Unfortunately, people sometimes have a tendency to say and do things that are out of line. Whether it is done intentionally or not really doesn’t matter as much as learning to control your own emotions. You have no control over what someone else says or does to you. However, you have total control over the way that you react to it and how you allow it to impact you as you move forward. Do you want something negative to control your every action for the rest of your life or do you want to forget about it, put it behind you and move on as a stronger and more confident person? This is where forgiveness truly comes into play. The more quickly that you are able to forgive, the better able you are to be the person that you were always meant to be. If you allow yourself to get stuck in those negative emotions, you may never achieve your goals because you will never get past that singular incident that caused you so much pain. It simply isn’t worth it.
You Deserve to Forgive Others
Forgiveness can sometimes be a process that takes a long time to achieve. Once you get there, you will realize that it is truly about moving past a particular situation more than anything else. By forgiving another person, you are giving yourself permission to move past the incident and go on. That is something that every individual deserves.